A letter to my younger self

Dear younger me,

This is me from your future. I hope I have made it in time to talk to you before you try and become a teenager and slowly enter the world of adults. I know you are so full of enthusiasm right now. You can not wait to enter this new phase of yours and you think you are perfectly ready for it. Sweetheart, I’m sorry to break your bubble here but you are not ready. I know because even your future self is not ready. We probably never will be. And I know, I am supposed to let you discover things for yourself but I couldn’t contain myself. I just had to talk to you. 

When Monica took Rachel in after she ran away on her own wedding, Monica told her - “Welcome to the real world. It sucks but you’re gonna love it”. That is what I would like to tell you too. You’ll start with certain expectations. It is good you will have expectations but don’t take them at face value because expectations lead to disappointments. And you may want to try and stay away from disappointments as much as you can because there would be enough people to remind you that you are nothing but a disappointment without you having to bring it upon yourself. But you have got to listen to them. You will have every right to be angry and upset but listen to them. They are the ones who will help you improve as a person because no one is born perfect. You are imperfect and full of flaws because you are a human being. Do not believe anyone who tells you that you are perfect. Strive to be perfect but never reach perfection. Keep it real. 

Growing up you will realize that your path is not a bed of roses. It is, in fact, ingrown with thorns and pebbles and it will prick you and make you bleed. But you have to be strong. You have to keep smiling. You have to show the world that nothing can break you because at the moment they will see you are made of glass and not stone they will know you are vulnerable. Try to not mould yourself from a glass. As pretty as it looks, it is fragile. People will bring you down at every step. But don’t give up. You have to keep climbing. You have every right to take a break and rest while you catch your breath. You have every right to get tired but do not be constantly in a state of tiredness, help will not be there with you at all times. You have to be your own superhero. For every mountain that you climb, there will be higher and higher peaks where you won’t even be able to see the tip of the mountain. But the view from up there will always be mesmerizing. 

Never let anyone make you feel that you don’t have a voice or your opinion is invalid. Because you do and your opinion is not invalid (terms and conditions apply). You don’t want to be a feminist, it's completely fine. You don’t want to go to pride parades, no one will force you. Don’t be afraid. At every point in life, you will have tools and weapons to make your voice heard. Don’t let people mute you. That is something I did not realize, hence, I am hoping to get this across you. I still struggle to find my voice. I know I am lost but I want you to find a way for yourself. You must also stand up for what you believe in because no one else will do it for you. 

You will have crushes and you will have boyfriends. You’ll get proposals and you’ll get rejections. You will realize that falling in love, appreciating little things about someone else, giving them a piece of your heart would be the most beautiful feeling in the world. You will mean the world to them and they to you. But equally heartbreaking would be when it gets over. You will feel like the world has come crashing down and it will be like the end of the world. But trust me it really isn’t. It is ok to mourn about it and cry and let it all out but I know you will eventually be able to fight it all out. All you have to do is flash that smile of yours for which he would always compliment you. The smile that made him flat. It may not work its magic on him anymore but the magic would now be seen in yourself. 

You will realize the importance of friends and family because I know right now these things are not your top priority. I wish you would realize that sooner. Friends are not there just to share gossip over a rom-com. You will make wonderful friends who will lift you up when you fall. These are the people who will truly matter. Those are the people who you will proudly call your best friends. You will make friends who will see you when you are invisible and will bring you chocolate and food and soft drinks when you are low. Please don’t let them go. You may not always have the best communication with your childhood friends either but as you grow up you will realize they are the ones you truly love because they never left your side even for once. You will also have to learn to differentiate between friends who hide behind a mask and who don’t. Those who have to mask their personalities are not worth it. You will at one time feel you are closest to them and you will neglect others who genuinely care about you but please please listen to others when they warn you. Especially our parents. Their sixth sense will be triggered off much in advance and in the end,d you will go back to them to tell them they were right. But by the time you decide to go back to them a lot would have already have been destroyed. It will be upon you to rebuild your relations. It will be you and only you. 

I think I should tell you one more thing before I let you be on your own till the time we meet again. I want to leave you with two quotes by Albus Dumbledore. “Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light”. “Help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it.” Dark times lie ahead as I already mentioned before, it is not going to easy. But you have to find your own little reasons to remain happy and if possible sane. Please reach out. People are not horrible. I mean some of them will appal you but otherwise,e people are nice. They will help you if you read out. They will love you and care for you. I know you are an introvert right now and it takes time to open up but try to come out of your comfort zone right now. It will be something new and who knows what good you may find once you come out and reach out to people. I must take your leave now. Take care. You are going to become a shining star one day. (That stands for both of us). Don’t forget to love yourself and keep telling yourself that no one else can determine if you are pretty or not. You are beautiful and amazing. Stay that way ok? Most importantly learn from your mistakes. 

I love you. 

Yours truly.

An older version of you.