Moving on
“Letting go means to come to the realization that some people are a part of your history, but not a part of your destiny.”
―
Steve Maraboli
So in the past 2 months, many things have happened with me. I went through a lot of 'compression and rarefaction.'
The funny thing ... no matter how much I tried, how much people consoled me, I'm so NOT over this. Over her. So very NOT.
I have forgiven her. I thought it'll give me the peace I was looking for but at what times am I ever correct? Let's just say ... never. Hence I've lost all hopes of finding peace or anything close.
This might be just a disappointment to people who would have expected me to be done with everything and just move on with life. But that's not happening anytime soon ( you bet ). And to be very honest and frank, I really don't care about what people might think of me anymore. True I might have become a bit selfish and reserved and more of an introvert.
But its just impossible ( for me at least ) to move on. I see her everyday - in class, in coaching, in my street just everywhere. I miss her no doubt. I (sometimes) want things the way it was before. Also NOT.
I don't know if I'll ever be the same with her or will I be able to talk things out / solve everything with her. I don't know what the future has in store for me regarding our relationship. I don't know if she misses me or even thinks about me or I have just been erased from her memory or NOT. Her memories, her images, her posts just make me tear up at times without me even realizing it.
SIGH. If only the tables dint turn. If only the water dint have to go above my head.
So in the past 2 months, many things have happened with me. I went through a lot of 'compression and rarefaction.'
The funny thing ... no matter how much I tried, how much people consoled me, I'm so NOT over this. Over her. So very NOT.
I have forgiven her. I thought it'll give me the peace I was looking for but at what times am I ever correct? Let's just say ... never. Hence I've lost all hopes of finding peace or anything close.
This might be just a disappointment to people who would have expected me to be done with everything and just move on with life. But that's not happening anytime soon ( you bet ). And to be very honest and frank, I really don't care about what people might think of me anymore. True I might have become a bit selfish and reserved and more of an introvert.
But its just impossible ( for me at least ) to move on. I see her everyday - in class, in coaching, in my street just everywhere. I miss her no doubt. I (sometimes) want things the way it was before. Also NOT.
I don't know if I'll ever be the same with her or will I be able to talk things out / solve everything with her. I don't know what the future has in store for me regarding our relationship. I don't know if she misses me or even thinks about me or I have just been erased from her memory or NOT. Her memories, her images, her posts just make me tear up at times without me even realizing it.
SIGH. If only the tables dint turn. If only the water dint have to go above my head.
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