One of my flaws

What a pen can write maybe words cannot say...This might be true for me at least in some particular situations. Sometimes it is just impossible to figure out who I actually am.It's actually very frustrating. Many instances from my daily life just seem to prove that.

If I am feeling happy or elated I can shout to the whole world that yes I am happy and this has made me happy.But my case is totally different when it comes to those petty negative feelings. Many a times I don't know what I'm going through or why  I'm even feeling or going through it.

Some of my friends - my best friends you can say...they give me this feeling of insecurity - the worst feeling ever!! I know that something is wrong but I have no strength to oppose it. I have no words to say that it is wrong. I just see the wrong happening in front of my eyes and I can't do anything to stop it.

If I had the confident power of speech then what good those poems and diary entries would be to me? If only I could voice out my opinions rather than keep everything bottled up inside me or maybe if I can get to know myself better...Maybe then I could peace out with myself. I could actually be satisfied for once.

Can I make it better? Can I change myself for the better? will things ever turn out the way I want them to be? I wish ........