A 'forever' within 41 days

A sunlit campus view

On May 16, at 4:28 pm, I submitted my thesis to my department, making it my final submission at Ashoka University. I was done with my second degree from Ashoka as well. It is still not hitting me that it is over. Maybe with this post, I can allow myself to feel some bits of it. This post is an ode to the 41 days I could luckily spend on campus.

Another sunlit campus pic

The campus started calling back students in batches, starting in January. Retrospectively, I know January was too early but I will always think - what if I had chosen to go back in February? Would I have gotten a little more time with my friends, with the campus and the Sonepat skies? But anyway, I finally packed my stuff and left Chandigarh on 14th March. I did not think I would come back to Chandigarh as a resident and I was secretly happy about that. But things did not turn out exactly as I had planned them to be. I was on campus for a total of 41 days - from 14th March to 23rd April.

According to covid protocols, I was required, along with everyone else who chose to come back, to isolate ourselves for a period of 7 days. The campus authorities converted one hostel into a quarantine hostel where we stayed put. Well, here is the catch. My batch turned out to be the unlucky batch that had to quarantine for almost 3 weeks instead of 1. I am not getting into the nuances, but it is safe to say, there was a misjudgment on the part of admin members, but also no one would have thought the second wave was upon us.

Room mate

I was ready for one week of quarantine, maybe even 2. But after almost 10 days, I slowly started to lose my mind. Every other day I stayed in my room with no visible interaction, I felt like I am drowning. I have had bad mental health days, but this was a ride no one prepared me for. But every cloud has a silver lining. My silver lining was my friends who would stop by the hostel, to stand below my window and check up on me almost every single day. I can not be more grateful for the same. On 1st April, I got an email from the Dean stating - “Dear student, In reference to the Round 4 COVID Test that you underwent on Tuesday, 30th March 2021, as per the process, your isolation period has come to an end….” I was in the middle of the class when this email came and I started crying. I am adding the fact about crying, because, well I am not the kind of a person who has ever cried in response to a movie or a song or an email. But I finally was free. 

One of the best friends

My two best friends came to receive and help me with all the formalities required post quarantine and also to help me with shifting to my main hostel. I set up my room in a typical Ashoka fashion, complete with fairy lights, while listening to music, especially now that I had the whole double capacity room to myself. I also gave myself a challenge - to mix and match my limited outfits in such a way that I don’t repeat one whole outfit. 

First post quarantine outfit

The first thing I did after coming out of the quarantine, was to get dressed, put on an outfit that screamed freedom, and go to the mess area and just meet as many people as I could. I saw so many familiar faces, so many familiar names. I finally felt I was at home, amongst my Ashoka family. From 1st April to 22nd April - the days were filled for the most part with laughter, jokes, and smiles in a way that I hadn’t felt for almost a year. Knowing I had very little time with my friends, I decided to make the most out of it. This is probably the first time in my four years of college, that I decided to be less hard on myself. I decided to not be the person who has to study all the time and has little to no time for activities outside the classroom. I let myself free from the shackles I bound myself to. 

The hostel where I came as a first-year and where I left as a fourth-year/ graduate.

On 19th April, all students on campus were informed we have to leave within a week because Covid cases were rising and the campus was running out of resources to handle so many cases. I was devastated. What ensued, was complete chaos and mismanagement, on the part of admin members, for the second time of my stay. I could not believe that my time has been cut short so suddenly and drastically. I actually had to start planning farewells, when all I wanted was to spend time on the campus, a campus I won’t be coming back to anytime soon. I talked to my parents and it was decided that they would come to pick me up on the 25th of April. But within a day or two, because of the fear of what kind of lockdown restrictions would be imposed, it was decided the I would have to prepone my travel to 23rd April. The limited-time became even more limited. Needless to say, my last week at Ashoka was spent with a lot of tears and goodbyes. I wrote a letter to the person who has been my roommate, my lifeline in college, and my absolute best of friends, a day before she left. I don’t know how she would have managed to read it, since it was more tears and fewer words. My other friend was staying for some more time since he lives in Delhi. He helped me through the very last days and even came to see me off on the morning of the 23rd of April. 

The last night on campus

If someone was to ask me if I wished I had more time, I would definitely say yes. But I am also eternally grateful for the little time we had. If I had to describe my 41 days at Ashoka it would be this quote that Hazel said to August, in The Fault of Our Stars - “There are infinite numbers between 0 and 1. There's .1 and .12 and .112 and an infinite collection of others. Of course, there is a bigger infinite set of numbers between 0 and 2, or between 0 and a million. Some infinities are bigger than other infinities. A writer we used to like taught us that. There are days, many of them when I resent the size of my unbounded set. I want more numbers than I'm likely to get, and God, I want more numbers for Augustus Waters than he got. But, Gus, my love, I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity. I wouldn't trade it for the world. You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I'm grateful.” I wouldn’t exchange it for the world. If I have to do it all over again, I probably would, because it was worth it. It was all worth it in the end. 

Au Revoir Ashoka. Au Revoir.